On my quest for a new slave (is this even the right title for what I am seeking?), I have been taking my time finalizing my desires and digging deep into my expectations. I’ve been asking myself, what specifically I’m seeking and what the process will look like to fine tune a human to my liking?
I often get asked, ‘What is your submissive training program like?’
In all honesty, it’s not like anything you’ve ever experienced or heard of. Like nearly everything else in my life vanilla or otherwise, I won’t half ass this. I can’t. I never have. It’s not even a possibility for me. I’ve worked too hard for too long to not execute the training of my submissives in exactly the way I see fit.
I have never met another dominant that handles training as a total immersive sensory experience the way that I do. Every dominant does it a little different, some don’t do it at all. I’ll admit, I, albeit somewhat obsessively, work at this like a real life, dungeon Mistress, crafting our collective story so those in the Queendom experience it the way I prefer.
As some of you know, Puppy initially underwent 18 weeks of submissive training that ultimately turned into 75 almost consecutive weeks of training. He has also had two boot camp style of re-trainings along the way, even as recently as this time last Summer, that last anywhere from a long weekend to months. He understands that he will continue to receive submissive training when and as I order. I don’t believe in training once and then ‘set it and forget it‘ for a submissive status. I can say with 100% certainty that his training isn’t over, despite us being in a 24/7 D/s dynamic for over six years.
In the same way we renew our driver licenses and various certifications, because it’s important to ensure that the individual is still able to drive behind the wheel — I need to see the individual (submissive) is still able to provide the service necessary for our (My) continued happiness and fulfillment.
My submissive training style
When I first started out as a Femdom, “submissive training” was everywhere. It was in. It was taught one-on-one to the lucky few. It was secretive. It was hot. But the more I saw what some “training” included the more off-put I became. A lot of it seemed unnecessary and impractical, based in fantasy, focused primarily in doling out pain, and honestly, a bit divvy and jejune. Everyone is a bit different, but back in the day I used to fall victim to a one size fits all training style. That’s not to say that style can’t work for some, but it didn’t work for me.
Thankfully, over time I have been able to consistently create exciting, robust, and custom submissive training like only I (and yes, little, horny subby boys) have dreamed about. So, first things first, is when starting submissive training, I need to decide how to train a particular individual wishing to serve. I am very specific, strict, demanding, and exacting in what I need, that’s why not every willing boy makes it through training like Puppy.
I try to implement the four core learning styles in the VARK model, this includes:
- Visual: Prefer to take in their information visually — pictures, graphs, diagrams, charts, etc.
- Auditory: Learn better when they take in information in auditory form when it is heard or spoken
- Reading/Writing: Consume information best when it’s in words, written, writing, researching (easiest to teach in my opinion)
- Kinesthetic: Prefer to learn by doing and tactile “hands-on” experience (most prone to mistakes)
I tweak each of these for what they mean to me, never confine training to just one, and add in the kinky stuff where possible. There is no more “vanilla” anything in my home and lifestyle, it’s all been perverted in some way. Dishes often have dildos comingling with teacups and silverware, laundry has more panties for my sissy than myself with each new load, even cleaning usually entails a butt plug or bondage of some kind. With this as the basis, I know that I will need a minimum of 16 weeks to experiment with the material and the subject (submissive) to see what lies ahead.
The always poignant question in the back of my mind is, ‘Will they bend or break?‘.
…But what about the kinky stuff…
I know, I know, that doesn’t seem very kinky or D/s based but for me, the connection starts in the mind (read: self described sapiosexual). The sooner I can figure out how you think and absorb what I want to instill in you, the sooner I can get to testing that out in various ways. I have learned the hard way there’s no use in trying to train someone who doesn’t genuinely want to be trained, can’t free up up the mental space to serve or are unable to be open enough to help discover how we can learn their best chance at successful submission together.
There’s no two ways about it, the kind of submissive training I do is heavily mental at first. Unfortunately, a lot of unresolved and ignored mental disorders are the culprit for why I have to part ways with some partners before or during submissive training. I want to be your Mistress not your therapist.
With my unique style, I start with the bottom layer for what will hopefully, eventually, lead to a beautifully, BDSM-baked cake of mindfuckery. How can I feel safe in knowing what I can play with if I don’t know what I’m working with to start with? What about if you can’t let go and sink into the hedonistic headspace needed?
So, let’s look more closely at the core four learning styles again and how I implement some kinky training surrounding them:
- Visual: I am going to use lots of selfies, D/s imagery, handmade graphs, diagrams and charts to get your attention. Think of this as the most kinky board meeting ever, and it’s given by a Mistress.
- Auditory: I find that sending files of seduction or hypnosis work well here. I also am keen on reading articles aloud so that you may listen while you do other things, always with me in your ears.
- Reading/Writing: This is my go-to way of training as I use it most frequently for classes and workshops. Expect lots of tasks, journals, instructed kinky research and reading assignments in your future.
- Kinesthetic: Most submissives would love to only learn through touch and experience but that’s not usually the best lone option. However, I like to use heavy toy introduction and more tactile ways of expressing the intended command with this style.
Beyond that my goal is to get some must-haves squared away; effective communication, instilling submissive purpose, reinforcing the power dynamic scales of imbalance, pattern breaking through corporal punishment, whole body devotion through excess multi-stimulation, dedicated denial, and so much more to get under and in-between your skin, and the fabric of what makes you, you.
I can’t say what it entails in depth because that is part of the beauty of serving me, an experience you can’t wrap your head around…yet. A Mistress has to have some mystery, right? What I can share is that I know my submissive training is as unique as my trainee is, because that’s what breeds the best grounds for going to the edge and possibly beyond our shared most deviant dreams — an expression of our truest selves.