“I access my ‘Alpha’ pet side’ when needed during a scene,” I said to the class and their collective eyes widened in surprise.
“So as a pet you are a Domme? Like issuing commands and such?” one submissive male asked with hesitation.
“Yes depends on how we’re playing. I don’t always use words during that play as my subs don’t either,” I replied.
A Femdom as a…pet??? This was breaking their brains.
Pet play, or animal play, is a fairly common activity, but it’s also commonly confused with ‘human pets’. Which is an entirely different play style that may harbor an entirely different identity.
Pet play has been around far longer than I’ve been involved in the kink community. I imagine it will continue to thrive here for several reasons. The largest one; it’s easy for newbies to experience subtle, low-risk, power exchange dynamics. Pet-play is a mind play and kink that involves role-playing as, well, a pet. What kind of pet? Really any kind that your imagination can dream up. There’s the popular ones you’ve probably heard of: dog/puppy, cat/kitten, pig, or pony. But I’ve also seen obscure ones such as a cow, a fish, turtles, dragons, sharks, bunnies, and more. For some kinksters this will simply be a roleplay, like for me. For others it will be more of an expression of their kink identity (like my pets).
In pet play, you will see dynamic roles played out as…
- Owner/Handler/Trainer
The Owner or Handler usually takes on a dominant role. The Owner/pet dynamic could be likened to the Master/slave relationship.
This is going to be the person who cares for and keeps pets safe. When you see those images of pet players getting tickled, teased, groomed, in bondage, or being used, it’s normally this person leading the way. If there’s training for new skills (begging, obedience, commands, etc) and rule-setting that is needed, they may step into the ‘Trainer’ role to do so. A Trainer can also be someone other than an Owner or Handler who has no dynamic with the pet outside of training.
This is the role that holds the power. This role exerts control whether that be through rewards and punishments or some other way.
- Pet/Animal (Submissive pet expression)
Probably the most well known type of pet play. It often involves a person taking on a more subservient role during interactive play. If someone is looking to surrender their “humanity” to an Owner or Handler and heed commands, this may be how it is roleplayed out. I’ve heard from lots of people, this is where they can lose themselves in pet space. It can, like many BDSM things, be sexual…but it can also just be a social thing, or a way of relaxing. How many times have I had my Puppy or kitty curl up in my lap or at my feet only to fall asleep peacefully after a long day of work?
If this is what you’re interested in, you’ll most likely know that disobedience and not following instructions could put you on the path to punishments and reprimanding.
For those who identify as an s-type, using the desire for praise, attention, cuddles, treats, playtime, and other ‘pet like’ attributes could be a big draw.
- Alpha Pet/Animal (Dominant pet expression)
Normally you all know I don’t like terms like ‘Alpha’ and ‘beta’. But in this context it’s simply being used as a way to denote dominance through leadership. I don’t partake in most aspects of pet play, other than “embodying” the pet, I don’t drink out of bowls, beg for treats, follow commands, or anything else of the sort. As an Alpha pet, I will express this by taking charge, as I am viewed as the “leader” of a pack, Alphas are the most dominant pets in a pack. Since I am dominant through and through, when I choose to engage in pet play with my pets as a pet, I naturally assume an ‘Alpha’ role and lead the way for others in my pack within the Queendom.
Since my dynamic with my pets is hierarchical, this is how it plays out. I didn’t decide to be an Alpha pet player, I just am when those around me consider it to be so. For me this is a display that I’ve honed the very skills I want to instill in my pets. I want to show them how to be even more submissive to me in the roleplay. That means I flaunt my dominance in a new and captivating way. I’m not a bully, I remain watchful, composed, and lead by example – unless we’re just playing, then it’s more rough and tumble.
Many different roles exist within the parameters of Pet play. D/s roles can be enhanced and reinforced through ownership, pet training, etc. with special notation to what fuels your role.
It’s about connecting on a different (pet) playing field
From my perspective this is a kink that can be fun and accessible or deep and introspective. That’s what I love most about it! Roleplaying as any pet/animal can feel silly, so it’s going to require some vulnerability. That means at times, you may be asked to look closely to understand the deep bond between you and your partner(s) that transcends words. Think about our domestic bio pets…we have relationships with them that are non-verbal. I don’t necessarily need words to convey my dominance and pet play allows me to not only flex but strengthen that ability.
“Fascinating. So how do you communicate commands as a non verbal pet?” another curious kinkster asked me during my roles breakdown.
I chuckled because it seemed obvious to me. Anyway I need to: nudging, nibbling, literally leading by ‘dragging’ the other pet by their gear/clothes. They still had more questions…
“How do I do punishments as a pet?” – By biting, physical force/body weight, creative bondage.
“What animals have I been?” – Normally a puppy or a kitty, not sure I could identify with some others. When I’m unleashing my inner canine, I am mostly in it for the growling, biting, and varied form of dominance through rough body play floor play with my Puppy. With my kitten side, I get to channel the sensuality and independence of our furry felines with my boy kitty. I take special focus to enjoy meows, gentle headbutts, pouncing, clever mimicking…and of course scratching with my claws!
“Does pet play mean you’re a furry?” – Nope, not in any way, especially since my form of pet play always involves power exchange dynamics, as well as the fact that I don’t feel like the pet I’m acting as is a “part” of me, rather a role play I am acting out for fun. Furry fandom is a subculture interested in anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics. One of these things is not like the other.
It’s sexual or not, you decide
For many, there’s a true love for the non-sexual aspects of pet play. It’s more about helping them destress as they assume the quiet kitten role or working out pent up aggression as a puppy or wolf. For others being a pet just makes them smile and feel comforted. They can dress up, show off their pet gear, or new pet skills. It allows them to tap into the playfulness and carefree creature they could never be in their normal, day-to-day life. And that’s not even getting into the very social community that stems from pet play.
When pet play is sexual…
It’s your choice to incorporate this or not. My pet play preferences will not be the same as yours. If you don’t have a humiliation kink, you may not like being ordered to walk on all fours, eating from a bowl on the floor, or using a litter box. I always suggest to practice pet play before integrating sexual activities through cuddling, petting, or just relaxing.
If you are seeking to amp up the heat in pet play, there’s a quite a few options you can consider such as:
- Humiliation – As I mentioned pets can eat out of bowls on the floor, pee in the woods or a designated space, be put in a head cone for disobedience, and follow longingly after their owners like absolute velcro pets. For some people the humiliation inherent in roleplaying an animal is what makes so very appealing. Personally, I avoid all of these when I am in Alpha pet mode.
- Ownership – My pets are owned (although not collared) and that is a big desire of many pet players. For anyone with an interest D/s or M/s dynamics, there’s an obvious place to feel like you ‘belong’ to someone, like a good pet.
- Bondage – I love restraining and believe this is a big part of why it’s easy for people to get into the ‘pet head space’. As pets, they get taken for walks on leashes, put into cages for their own good, tied up to wait like patient pets, or even or saddled up and ridden. How cool is that?! Pet play as lets you explore some out-of-the-box bondage methods.
- Gear – Some of the draw to pet play is the gear and accessories. There are many available depending on the animal you want to be. This can be clip-on tails, insertable ones mounted on butt plugs, ears, paws, muzzles, and more that can add to the feelings of your pet role play. As an Owner/Handler/Trainer you can find outfits, whistles, training crops, clickers, special leashes and more.
- Creative cuisine – Lots of my readers know I am a big foodie. One of my favorite things for pet play is to make human-grade edible “pet food” and “pet treats”. There’s tons of resources out there for this but some of my go-tos for a visually immersive experience over the years has been: Reese’s peanut butter puffs for dry food, refried beans or corned beef hash for wet food, meatloaf, pâté’s, Scooby Snacks, chunky soups/stews, Spam, mashed potatoes with mushy veggies, freeze dried fruits or currants, and much, much more. Again, this another inventive faucet of pet play that can be silly, sexy, or a staple for play.
As a Dominant it’s within my realm of reach
“What can be gained as a fellow pet vs Owner/pet?”, the class asked me as I was wrapping up.
I could still see that many of them were confused. They couldn’t grasp how I step into a pet player role while retaining the reigns of Femdommery. I could see the squeaky wheels of small-mindedness getting stuck in the social mud.
There’s a huge world of naughtiness out there. Role playing as a pet, is the perfect time to remove any blinders I may have and try something a little more out of my comfort zone for self growth. As a Owner/Handler I can enjoy the usual power of giving commands and taking control. As a fellow Alpha pet, I can can revel in showing that dominance in the form of non-verbal sexual urges, and creative expressions of care and attention. It’s also just downright fun and I’m the Mistress, so I get to do what I want, how I want!
Pet play is a fun way to explore your more animalistic side, even if you’re role-playing a house pet. It gives you the joy of shedding your responsibilities and stress and caring for others as a Owner/Handler. And hopefully, for someone who used to be more anxious like myself, it will provide an escape from self-awareness and change in headspace to go with the pet-flow.