Innocent until proven kinky

I’ve often noted that many woman get away with what I deem ‘too much‘, or in actuality ‘not enough‘ at all and men still put up with it! I know countless women who withhold sex until they get their way (usually over something trivial), only perform blowjobs on “special occasions”, shutter at the mere thought of anal sex, and would be mortified to have sex with more than a night light on.

That’s why it shouldn’t surprise when I receive text like the one I did yesterday that read: “Damn, I just had the most amazing thought of watching you enjoying yourself with another man.“

To me, this is a compliment. The particular gentleman who texted me has in fact watched me have sex with another man of his choosing three times. He himself is criminally good-looking but we’ve never done more than make-out. He’s often told me how he thinks I’m a rare gem of women who actually enjoys sex. (Yes, there are women out there who aren’t afraid of their bodies or the sounds they make…we really are just participating to have fun)

Often times women like us get reputations or the ill-fitting labels of being “easy”, “slutty” or “flirts”, which to me just says “I’m insecure so I’m picking on you.” But if you are the type of woman who enjoys sex: Do you feel the pressure I sometimes feel? The pressure of always being on? Once a guy realizes that you enjoy yourself sexually, it’s almost like a contest for him to see just how much he can get out of you, how much do you really enjoy it? If you turn him down then it’s thrown in your face or you get goaded to react how you usually might.

It got me thinking…Why do the “innocent” girls get to slack off and still get the same benefits as I do when with a guy? I haven’t found that men are nicer, more sweet, more helpful, thoughtful, or any of the in between just because I like to fuck. So, why even go through the extra effort?

This all brings me to my current situation: I met a guy online.

I actually was getting a bit tired of the results I’ve gotten with my search for a sub so decided to switch gears. I placed an ad on Craigslist for another partner (since my relationship is open) but amusingly didn’t get any responses…not one! I also wrote a few guys…none of them actually stated they were into open relationships, I was just putting out the net. One guy wrote me back.

We began emailing, then switched over to chatting, and then webcam. I decided early on I’d play more into the innocent stereotype than my usual sexually forward self. I, by no means was lying about my personality, I just tried to stay away from sexual topics and any admissions that might give him the impression that I was a bit more “naughty” than average. He’s military and away at the moment but will be returning in a few weeks so we’ve been taking this time to get to know one another before meeting.

Everything was going well…he was perfectly okay with my open relationship, he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders, he was funny and most importantly he was good with communication. I was completely thrown for a loop when during our one of our nightly Q&As he mentioned that he was into “kinky” sex. I tried to brush it off but we ended up discussing it further where he said, he was curious about BDSM and the submissive side of things. I asked if he had any experience with it and he said no, just a curiosity.

A few days later I was checking my calendar and saw that there was a dungeon event coming up at a local club. I was debating on whether to go when I received an IM from said guy telling me to check out this link…a link to the very same local BDSM club on my calendar! I didn’t let him know of course but it was strange. What are the odds that I interact with a guy who has the good qualities I seek and interest in BDSM?

I don’t plan on keeping this facade of innocence up for long because I do want him to know the true me and let’s be honest…kinky girls really do have all the fun!