Kneeling
Begging
Spanking
Being lead on a collar and leash
Foot worship
Anal training
All of these things require a certain level of trust.
As many of you may (or may not) remember the trust lines between my new bf (who is also the last slave) are few and far. We each have our reasons for feeling the way that we do, that cannot be denied but as we laid in bed and talked this week the subject of when we would resume our roles as Mistress and slave in this relationship came up.
When will we have built enough trust to do the things we desire?
It’s mostly on his part since I am the “offending” party. He has to feel that he can trust me again before I can do any of the deliciously, sometimes harmful-in-a-good way, things to him. As always I’m gung-ho to put the past behind me and keep on truckin’. That’s usually my motto. I’m an avid believer of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I know it’s just my opinion and he can take as long as he likes before he decides to call me “Mistress” again. But when he said 7 or 8 months was an off the wall number he was thinking my heart sank. Seven to eight months with no continuous BDSM play?
Of course I can handle this. I have before in the past with strictly vanilla relationships and he’s definitely worth it…I was just sorta shocked. It’s been almost 3 months now with no continuous BDSM play, just spurts here and there and it’s killing me! I love all the urges that BDSM has inside me that make my heart pound against my chest.
For instance, he simply was telling me a list of all the things he missed doing for me BDSM-wise and my panties got wet. That’s just from talking about it! I know, I’m being selfish here. I have to respect his wishes and I will. I just feel something vital is missing from who we are when we do not act on this.
We have a very powerful connection to one another, that I simply cannot explain. I’ve never really felt like this toward someone before, this is the single thread tying me to this one place to be with him. I would like to see where our journey ends, or for how long it continues. This is what makes me positive that we should be together for the time being. Our trials and tribulations have made us what we are today.
This is the reason I choose to suppress my BDSM urges for him. Don’t get me wrong, I am a more frequent viewer of femdomchamber than I ever have been, I think about BDSM more than I care to admit and I try not to gaze at my whip longingly while I am idle in my room. It comes and it goes, this urge I often speak of. But the desire is always there, no matter how quieted. I know that when the time is right we will start to practice BDSM again.
I just wonder how does one go about maximizing the amount of trustworthiness they are projecting? And how can I perfect this fine gesture?
Trust for me in a BDSM context is something that takes time to build. I suggest starting bf with some simple (not too dangerous or painful) play first and listen to his reaction. If he feels comfortable with this, you might move on to slightly more rough play. This was my experience with a mistress I didn't know (or trust) – she started me off with some easy things and moved on to harder play as I felt secure with her. I guess I trust her because she was in tune with my reactions each time she tried new things. I sensed she wouldn't push me further than I was willing (or capable) to go. BDSM with her is now a regular activity we do – I don't even think of going "vanilla".
Ms. L,
I do not know, but suspect the consensual aspect of BDSM heightens the experience for a D/. I can imagine knowing the /s is willingly giving themselves to you makes the service and training more fulfilling to you. Sub-thinking is often convoluted, so I wouldn't think the time frame he came up with is accurate. Our brains are often messy places for clear thoughts to reside. ;-}
-SH
Dave94: Hopefully we will be there again where trust isn't an issue
Sub-Hub: I like your way of thinking. Gives me hope that it might not be that long haha
Thank you for the note you left on my blog, I feel honored. I am a submissive with experience serving dominant women, but still have the burning desire to please a dominant woman.
I post photos of me on my blog, but the idea is to follow commands and take pictures as ordered. It will be an honor if you would be interested in giving such commands.